So, I found out this morning that I didn’t receive the Dissertation Year Fellowship. I was told that it’s because funding for the entire program has been slashed to all of the budget cuts, however I can’t help but think it’s because of my work. Getting funding turned down at the start of the project does not make me feel confident about going forward with my work because I’m already feeling unsure about it. Coincidentally, my assignment for today was to write an abstract for a topic that I want to present at the next ASTR conference and I felt really unsure and not at all confident about my work. Nonetheless, I did write the abstract and hope it will be good enough to be accepted.
I do have to remind myself that although I didn’t get the fellowship, I still am able to have funding through a TA-ship in the department next year. Not everyone gets this kind of funding, so I’m trying to feel grateful about this alternative support. I’m bummed that I will have to TA all year and that it very well might delay finishing my dissertation for another year, but I’m certainly going to try to finish in one year. And at least I won’t have to TA for the cluster course again; I’ll be TA’ing in my own department finally, so that might prove to be a good thing.