Sadness

I’m very sad to tell you that one of our twin girls, baby A, is not doing well.  Her growth has always been below average, but at Monday’s ultrasound it became clear that she really hasn’t grown in the last few weeks. She’s measuring about 4 weeks behind and weighs not even a pound. In comparison, baby B is a week behind and weighs 25 oz, slightly on the small side but very normal for a twin. We know that baby A is not thriving because she has severly restricted blood flow through her umbilical cord. We had another ultrasound today which showed that just since Monday she has lost a lot of fluid from her sac, which is another indication that she is not thriving. Some of you may be wondering why this is happening when the amnio results showed that both babies were healthy. Unfortunately, we found out later that the two samples taken were from the same sac, so we never found out about baby A because I refused to undergo another amnio (see this post as to why). So we’re not sure why this is happening–it could be chromosomal, or maybe the placenta isn’t good or maybe it’s just the umbilical cord. All of the doctors consulted indicate that it is probably a chromosomal problem, but this is not a certainty.

Whichever the case, the best we can hope for baby A is that she passes in utero, as she is already showing signs of this happening. Any heroic attempt to save her now would mean delivering both babies, putting both of them at extreme risk. All we can do now is to do the best we can for baby B and wait and see what course baby A takes.

This is very devastating for me and for Tom. Both of us have grown attached to our girls, have given them names and have re-imagined our lives as parents of twin girls. We are extremely sad with this turn of events. Please pray for baby A that she doesn’t suffer and for baby B that she continues to grow and thrive.

If you have any questions, please post them here. I’m very happy to answer any and all questions, I just don’t want to end up answering the same questions over and over again. This is also why I’m announcing baby A’s progress on this blog, so that I don’t have to tell the story over and over again.

Thank you all for your love and support.

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13 Comments

Filed under Babies

13 responses to “Sadness

  1. Oh, man. I’m sending you a hug through cyberspace. Please know that all four of you are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish I had words that would help with the grief, worry, and pain. You are already an awesome Mom.

  2. mdraeger

    Oh Heidi,

    I’m so, so sorry to hear this. I’ll be praying for you and the babies. So much love to you guys!

  3. Rob

    Heidi,

    I’m so sorry to hear this. I’m hoping that this works out and thinking of you guys.

  4. Aicheska

    Love you

  5. Lesley

    Heidi and Tom,
    I’m so sorry to hear this news and you are all in our thoughts. Please let me know if there’s anything I/we can do, even if it’s just to come hang out for a while.

    Lots of love,
    Lesley

  6. Ellen Beckerman

    Heidi,
    I feel for you, and feel how sad and devastating this is, and how brave and loving you are being as you go through it. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you for a gentle process and the best possible outcome.
    love,
    Ellen

  7. lipstickprophet

    I love you both so much and I’m so sorry this is happening. We’re all thinking about you and we’re here if you guys need ANYTHING. I love you!!

  8. Kathyrn Kemp Chociej

    Heidi,
    I know how much you love your babies and I can only imagine how heart-wrenching this must be for the both of you. I am so sorry you are going through this.
    Sending love and healing thoughts,
    ~Kathyrn

  9. deedee

    oh Heidi!! I’ll be praying for you all!! Hang in there Sweet mommy to be. Thinking of you and praying for you.
    deedee

  10. Oh no! I am so sorry, honey. Please give my best to Tom, too. 😦 I’ll give you a call tomorrow or Friday and see how you’re feeling…

    {{{HUGS}}}

  11. Meg

    What can I say? You’re in our thoughts and prayers and I’m glad you have each other to be there for love and support. Take care of yourself and know that we love you and we’re thinking about you.
    Please call if there’s absolutely anything I can do.
    ~ Meg

  12. Ana Paula

    big hug to you and tom and lots of love. hoping for the best turnout out of this sad turn of events…

  13. Donna

    Heidi and Tom,
    I am so sorry to hear your sad story. I talked to Mike last night and your Mom today. She gave me the link to your blog and so here I am. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you every day.
    Love, Donna

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